Finding an ideal life partner is tough, some even call it impossible.
And I’m not being a pessimist here, but let’s face it: over a lifetime, you meet a bunch of people who turn out to be wrong choices. While growing up, I used to idolise picture-perfect couples who have been with each other for ages. But once you enter adulthood, reality hits you right in the face. What if I keep looking for a guy with my precious list of qualities and I never find him? What if my whole idea of romance is wrong? And what if there never was such a thing as a ‘happy couple’?
For those of us who have also stumbled upon these so-called important questions in life, let me give you a dose of reality. There is no such thing as a ‘happily ever after’, but there definitely is a thing that I like to call ‘love with reality’. As soon as you gulp this truth down with a pinch of salt, over-the-top gestures and sweet nothings won’t feel like things essential to a relationship. Call it being way too practical in life (or losing my shit), but there came a point in my life when emotions started surfacing and made me see what’s on the other side of life.
And with this, my idea of romance also changed. Not overnight, but with time. By the time you’ve crossed the milestone they call the ‘quarter life crisis’, it will all start making sense. When you’ve been in too many relationships that are romantic in the usual cliched way but somehow never work out, you eventually start moving towards ones that are comparatively less dramatic (yes, you’ll get there). And don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that romantic people are not keepers or that they’ll betray you. I’m merely offering my personal experience with romance.
Going overboard and expressing your love from the rooftop might sound cool but most days, we just long for someone who loves spending time with us (maybe Netflix and chill) and makes our days better with just a few small gestures Because at the end of the day, life should be simple and filled with joy, even if it not a bed of roses.
Maybe it was never supposed to be a bed of roses and our idea of love is just influenced by all the fictional romance we’ve been following all our lives. Maybe these romantic books and movies were never an indication of how you can find this person and live this hypothetical romance. I think we find the answer to all these doubts when someone enters our life with a great conversation, not with a bouquet of flowers.
Loving someone, truly loving them, without extravagant gestures is actually the easier part. Because all you have to do is hold their hand and walk beside them. When you stop caring about romantic surprises, it makes you wonder about the simplicity of companionship. Whether you’re waiting for this kind of love or already in it, you will certainly relate with the fact that instead of showing affection with a big fat ring or an overly expensive gift, it’s always a better idea to make your partner happy with the things that they actually need.
And if you’ve found this kind of love my friend, never let it go.