Remember me? I am the same girl you mocked when she was all but a toddler, for preferring to play and laugh her heart out rather than do makeup and create doll houses. I am the same girl you laughed at when she could not speak English as perfectly as you could, in her teens.
I am the same girl you thought you could break, with your jibes and cruelty, the object of a mean streak you didn’t realise you possessed, because it was directed at me, a person you thought not worthy of your humaneness.
But you are not one person. You are a collective mass of all those who thought they could bring me down by repeatedly telling me I couldn’t do it, that I wasn’t cut out for it.
I just want to say…thank you. If it hadn’t been for your negativity, I couldn’t have honed or challenged myself to overcome anything. Maybe then, I would have been ordinary. And you know, how much I dislike the word.
Remember when you laughed at me because I didn’t know much about Bollywood? Or because my parents thought one channel was enough and cable TV was a luxurious distraction better avoided? Of course you don’t.
Thank you. For it was exactly because of you that I pushed myself so hard, that I am an entertainment journalist and a writer-cum-editor today. Combining both the things you said I couldn’t do, I created my haven. You see, had you not said that I could not do it, I would never have been curious, and would never have found my lifetime passion.
Do you remember when you said I won’t be able to do anything good in my life? You were a teacher then, who got offended because you didn’t like me and yet I scored the highest, so the jibe came when I asked a guy for sharing a note that I could not pick up. Thank you, for whenever I feel I am falling down, your words echo in my being and I push myself harder.
Do you remember sniggering as I was studying at a time when most of my batchmates were either working, taking solo trips or even getting married and settling down in fancy locales abroad? I remember the chuckles and the tuts; all of them. But you know, that was what drove me away from it and towards finally finding my true calling. A little late, but all thanks to you, I was desperate in my hunt, and in it found my true love.
Thank you, for ridiculing, mocking and telling me I cannot do it. For whispering every time I walked by and gleefully stating that your normal life was better than my screwed-up one.
For in your ordinary comments and jibes, I found the triumph of my extraordinary life.
From a girl who always believed in herself