Saying NO has been a challenge for many of us. If you are someone who likes being liked or someone who put others before yourself. Someone who is way too sensitive to see others hurt. Someone who believes, saying NO is mean, or selfish. Someone who enjoys being the go-to person for your family and friends. You know what I am talking about.
Even when you have more than what you could handle on your plate. Even when you are physically exhausted and emotionally drained. Even when you don’t want to get involved in what is asked of you; saying NO doesn’t easily surface as an option before you. If at all it does, you still find yourself failing to muster the courage to spill the word out of your mouth.
What makes it even worse for you is to receive a NO, despite saying YES all your life. It makes you feel terrible. It makes you feel not honoured, and not loved. It makes you at times even question your worth.
If you are that person, who finds it difficult to say or accept a NO, then you must remind yourself that you don’t owe a YES to anyone, nor do they owe you one. You are not responsible for how others feel. You don’t have to carry their burden, for it is not yours to carry. You can be kind and compassionate towards others, and you need to be, but not at the cost of honouring your truth. And not by disregarding your needs.
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”
Despite being argued as a fake Buddha quote, it definitely says something you need to hear loud and clear, which is to be compassionate to yourself.
It’s perfectly okay to say NO. In fact you must say NO when your heart says so. You must say NO when you are already occupied with more than what you can handle. You must say NO when you don’t want to get into something. You must say NO, if your YES is going to kill a part of you.
They may get upset. But know that you can’t always keep everyone happy, not at the cost of your well-being for sure. Your primary responsibility is to take care of yourself. Until you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to serve anyone.
Say NO before you drain yourself out. That is the best gift you could give to yourself, as well as to the world.