Self Love Doesn’t Come Easy, But It’s Worth Every Effort

Self love.

Two words. And so much to unfold within them.

You probably find these two words plastered all across the internet, in motivational paragraphs and inspirational quotes. You’ve probably come across several articles on all the wonderful ways to go about loving yourself. In fact, I know I’ve written quite a few myself.

Perhaps you’re someone who doesn’t quite understand what the whole hullabaloo about self love is, and see it as yet another hipster trend millenials just go on about. Or perhaps you’re someone who has taken the time and patience to master it, and now devote a good amount of your time in making sure you find new ways to love yourself.

Or maybe, just maybe, you’re someone who has all the good intentions and a healthy dose of resolve to embrace self love, but every now and then, keep finding yourself struggling, finding yourself just short of the mark. Like me.

Yes, me. I, who writes of self love, must admit that in days when dark clouds loom over my moods, self love seems like an impossible resolution to keep. All I want to do is sit in a dark room, play all the stupid things I just did or said over and over in my head and well…mostly just sulk. Self love doesn’t come easy, folks. It sure doesn’t.

And how can it, when you’ve spent an entire lifetime second-guessing your every move, holding yourself accountable for every goof-up you’ve ever made?

Or when the whole world seems all too eager to point out to you all the things you do wrong, without ever reaffirming the things you do right?

Or the manner in which self-love is considered synonymous with selfishness and egotism – both negative traits you wish to distance yourself from?

How can taking the time and space for self love possibly be easy in a world where from the moment you wake up to the moment you head for that sweet, sweet slumber, everything around you seems to beg, no, demand your attention?

Well, let me tell you what I tell myself when I find my intentions for self love lost in the wilderness of these never-ending questions: this, right here, is why you need self love.

The second-guessing yourself, the burden of having fingers being pointed in your direction, the fears of being too selfish – they all stem from a place where you don’t see yourself worthy of being made a priority. And that’s exactly the life circumstance that calls out for self love in your life. It calls for a mental state of being where you consider yourself worthy of being loved…by yourself.

So when those clouds loom dark over my head, it seems almost tempting to retreat into my corner of despair. But I need to remind myself of all the things that make me worth more than that pitiable state of existence. I need to be my own friend in those times and tell myself what we expect all good friends to say – “get up off your ass, Akanksha, and go do something awesome!”.

What that “something awesome” might be, depends on the strength we can muster at the time. It might be an ice cream we treat ourselves to, or a quiet little time for meditation, or maybe go read some wonderful words from brilliant authors (who it appears wrote only so that we may be inspired by them someday). But the point is in making a choice to love yourself and your peace of mind before all else, and remembering that it is not a selfish choice. That it is never a selfish choice.

So if self love doesn’t come easy to you, that’s all right, love. Join the club.

Read all you want, try everything you want to, take all the chances your heart desires. As long as you remember that loving yourself is something you are and will keep working on, it’s alright. Like all things in life, you will pick this up in your own time, at your own pace.

When you do, you will see just how much it was worth every effort.

And hey, I will be right here by your side. Writing and waving. We’ll make it together.