15 Honest Signs You Need To Stop Being So Hard On Yourself

You question yourself at every turn. You’re tired, but you don’t think you deserve to rest. There’s a difference between being self-aware and self-critical. And you my love, are lost in the latter. You are worthy of your own love, of your own faith. And if you relate to any of this, then take a step back, and be kinder to yourself.

You beat yourself up for saying “No”.

Even when you had no other choice BUT to say “no”. You feel like you owe everyone, but yourself your own love and care. You’re the kind of person who burns, just to keep others warm.

You wonder why people love you, and feel like you don’t deserve unconditional love.

You give unconditional love, but wonder if you truly deserve it. You’re constantly questioning your loved ones’ feelings towards you, and don’t blame those who walk away for walking away.

You rarely let yourself celebrate your success, but you dwell on your failures.

You move on quickly from all the kick-ass things you’ve done. From all those targets you’ve smashed and moments you’ve made yourself proud. But the things you’ve done wrong? The meetings you’ve fucked up? Those you hold on to like nothing else, beating yourself up over them, instead of learning from them.

You tend to forgive everyone…but yourself.

You chant “human beings aren’t perfect” like a prayer, forgiving even the worst of crimes against you. But somehow, through it all, you expect yourself to be perfect.

You hang on to the “what ifs” and wonder what you could have done to make your life better.

You do not let go of your past. Of the things you’ve done. You constantly ponder about choices you could have made, wishing for a time machine so that you could rewrite your beautiful life.

You’re constantly waiting for the “but” in every compliment.

You do not know how to accept compliments, convinced that every nice thing said to you by default comes with something you could have done better. Compliments make you awkward, and you’re never sure if you deserve them.

You apologise and beat yourself up for putting yourself first.

You’re a giver. And on the rare occasions you actually put yourself before everyone else, you usually feel guilty. And constantly and unnecessary apologise.

You dismiss your own ideas, convinced that they aren’t even worthy of voicing.

You do not voice your opinions, turning yourself into a whisper. You’d clap the loudest if the exact same idea came from someone else, though.

You’re always wondering how you can be “better”, forgetting that you’re already doing your best.

It’s good to strive for better. To constantly push yourself and grow. But you get so caught up in being “better” that you ignore all the things you’ve done, all the things you’ve achieved. Remember: there is so much you are yet be, but there is so much you already are.

You apologise for your breakdowns, convinced that they “burden” your loved ones.

You apologise for your bad days. For the times you couldn’t hold yourself up and had to depend on someone else. For all the times you were human. And no matter what your loved ones say, you feel like a burden.

You’re scared of opening up to people.

You don’t think anyone actually wants to know the real you. You think that you’re only good in parts – in happiness and pretty smiles. You’re afraid of letting people know your imperfections, even as you accept everyone else’s.

Your friends and family have to remind you of your own beauty, every day.

Because you so often forget it yourself. The people around you have to constantly tell you that the things you do are more than okay. That you are anything but ordinary. And even then, it’s not enough.

You let people criticise and mistreat you because you expect them to be hard on you.

In short, you don’t stand up for yourself. You let people walk all over you because you don’t think you deserve to have your own back. You’re already so critical of yourself, that you don’t blame others for not seeing how amazing you are.

You tend to worry about the “worst case scenario” in every situation.

You assume the worst. Assume that you won’t get the job you deserve. Your mind is programmed to pick the hardest battle, and you almost make sure that nothing is easy for you.

You stay up at night, wondering, overthinking and picking yourself apart.

You go over every situation a million times till you’re convinced you have to apologise for it. It leaves you fatigued and cranky, and instead of simply breathing and letting go, you rob yourself of sleep and beat your tired heart up.