This Writer Perfectly Captures The Trauma Of Being Socially Awkward

Have you ever felt lonely even when you were surrounded by too many people? I have been there, and I know how terrible it feels when you have too many people to talk to, and yet all you want to do is take the first bus back home and cuddle in your bed ALONE.

If you just nodded your head to the listed scenario, welcome to the socially awkward club. We are a bunch of people who don’t really have the “cool” genes, or so we have come to believe. I had a group of friends who were literally the star of any party. The moment they came to the party, they
pulled the crowd like a magnet pulls iron and they were at remarkable ease, while I used to stand like that ugly wallflower not knowing where to go, what to do, who to talk to and when to leave.

Not quite meeting the eye

When we are socially awkward, we find it hard to see someone in the eye. No, you haven’t wronged anyone, you haven’t picked anyone’s wallet, and you didn’t even bitch about that bully who intentionally pushed you down the lane. But, still, you wander around, hands in your pocket, looking at the floor as if it has the most interesting puzzle right there. The worst of our nightmares is when someone tries to strike a conversation. Often, merely telling who you are can give you goosebumps, and this in itself can be traumatizing.

The confidence takes a beating

Yes, the kind of beating which your confidence takes when you are in a crowd of confident people is staggering, and can harm you in ways more than one. For a long period of time, I had struggled with the way I handled crowds and parties. I often sweated under the weight of expectations,
anxiety and dilemma.

Sometimes, the pangs of anxiety can be so high that it starts to feel claustrophobic. So, dear friends and mates who don’t get why it is so hard to strike a simple conversation, there are some of us who aren’t chirping birds and easy chatters. We are a breed of people who are always looking for the nearest exits to end the party which is a pain for us.

I am socially awkward but I notice the way people glance at me and talk about me sweating under the shirt.
I am socially awkward but I notice how the gang of bullies laugh a little louder at my drooping eyelids.
I am socially awkward but I see the girls taking a dig at the apparent lack of confidence in my stance.
I am socially awkward but it hurts to see people judging me for who I am.

Do your bit and help those who can’t smile in a crowd because their inner demons are too big to let them play in the light of the day. It isn’t easy to feel lonely in a crowd of chirping birds but for some of us, more isn’t merry!